Thursday, March 1, 2007

What Keeps You Going?

Yesterday I had to take a sick day for a doctor's appointment. Yes, a whole day for one appointment, because the doctor only comes in on Wednesdays and he's only available between 9 and noon. I have a dentist's appointment Friday at 4. Gee, wouldn't it have been nice if I could have combined the two in one day? But the dentist doesn't work on Wednesdays, and I've been waiting four weeks for this appointment, anyway.

The appointment went fine, but I wondered how it could be that you could actually have a business and proclaim that you will only be "open" when it suits you. I guess when your Health Care Provider (everybody snicker now) decides who you get to see, you see them on their terms.

So I went back to work today, and I was so frustrated and angry and sad and depressed I wanted to cry. And scream. And throw a heavy black metal music stand through the windows.

I have concluded that this stressful job is doing a number on my health. Now, it's not fair to my husband to shoulder the entire burden of providing financial stability but it's not fair to me to become a raving lunatic capable only of staring at computer screens and television screens when I get home. I can't even concentrate on a book anymore, I keep reading the same paragraphs waiting for sense to sink in.

So I will be looking for another teaching job, but I'm sure I will have next to no luck. I know I'm a very good teacher, but that has nothing to do with it. How high on the salary scale, how far is the commute, how much am I willing to stay after school, etc.

I wish I had the power and position to say "I'm sorry, I'm only available for Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, between the hours of 9:30 and 2:30" and have people calling ME a month in advance begging to see me.

So when you know it's impossible for the situation to change, and you have to just bear with it until something else can be done, what keeps you going? Besides the knitting. Give me something to focus on other than this rampant pity party I'm creating here.

(I'm secretly shopping for a camera. Talk to me about that, too!)


Erica said...

Retail therapy can always be an answer :-)
As far as cameras go, if you are interested in getting more than a point and shoot camera and getting into photography, I cannot rave enough about the Nikon D50. Expensive, but absolutely amazing!
As far as other cameras go, I know next to nothing. But I do know that places like Staples often have very good deals on decent point and shoot cameras for next to nothing :-)
Good luck with finding a job that doesn't make you sick :-\. Teachers seem to always be the most unappreciated people.

(I found you through the knitty boards :-))

inky said...

Thanks, erica! That is one of the ones I'm looking at (wiping drool away) too.

Lysa with a Y said...

What keeps me going? Naps, spinning, and the cats. More than my husband, the cats keep me going. They just seem to *understand* whatever it is I'm going through and give their unconditional love, always. Keep up the spirit.

Brenda said...

I've known your pain, several times, in fact! You know that saying "Life is too short to...", well, in my opinion, life is too LONG to be in a miserable job that makes you ill. Seriously.

What kept me going until my situation changed? Keeping my eye on the prize - keeping my eye open for any opportunity for change. I ended up taking a 25% pay cut in a job in a different industry - and I'm in such a better place. Money's not great, but at least I want to get out of bed everyday now!

Sorry for the long blabber in my first comment!

As for cameras, I've been through a few - what are you looking for? High end? Portability?