Yesterday I had to take a sick day for a doctor's appointment. Yes, a whole day for one appointment, because the doctor only comes in on Wednesdays and he's only available between 9 and noon. I have a dentist's appointment Friday at 4. Gee, wouldn't it have been nice if I could have combined the two in one day? But the dentist doesn't work on Wednesdays, and I've been waiting four weeks for this appointment, anyway.
The appointment went fine, but I wondered how it could be that you could actually have a business and proclaim that you will only be "open" when it suits you. I guess when your Health Care Provider (everybody snicker now) decides who you get to see, you see them on their terms.
So I went back to work today, and I was so frustrated and angry and sad and depressed I wanted to cry. And scream. And throw a heavy black metal music stand through the windows.
I have concluded that this stressful job is doing a number on my health. Now, it's not fair to my husband to shoulder the entire burden of providing financial stability but it's not fair to me to become a raving lunatic capable only of staring at computer screens and television screens when I get home. I can't even concentrate on a book anymore, I keep reading the same paragraphs waiting for sense to sink in.
So I will be looking for another teaching job, but I'm sure I will have next to no luck. I know I'm a very good teacher, but that has nothing to do with it. How high on the salary scale, how far is the commute, how much am I willing to stay after school, etc.
I wish I had the power and position to say "I'm sorry, I'm only available for Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, between the hours of 9:30 and 2:30" and have people calling ME a month in advance begging to see me.
So when you know it's impossible for the situation to change, and you have to just bear with it until something else can be done, what keeps you going? Besides the knitting. Give me something to focus on other than this rampant pity party I'm creating here.
(I'm secretly shopping for a camera. Talk to me about that, too!)